Water slides, popcorn sacks, Tilt-A-Whirl, rigged carnival games and now this
This bag of raw peanuts has sat in the fridge for more than three months. I bagged them at a health store bulk bin (impulse purchase) and fiddled around with different uses before deciding that the primary trait of these peanuts is “astringency”.
No one else has cottoned to them either, and this is understandable. Raw peanuts taste like lightly-poisoned regular peanuts.
But there they were and here I was at midnight, puttering, opening and closing the fridge because I was bored but not hungry. Knowing well the raw vegan tenet of grinding up nuts into tasty patés, icings and creams, I thought I would put the peanuts in the blender and see what happened.
Bowl of raw peanuts. They are quite pale.
A little lubricant was needed to work the blade. Equal parts water and oil. Also a pinch of salt, a dash of maple flavor and a generous stream of agave nectar. This is what happened:
Hey, it’s creamy. But what is this? A condiment? A frosting? Ten minutes in the fridge has left it as stiff and shiny as fondant. There’s something familiar about the flavor, too; something that reminds me of island trips, gin hangovers, salt breezes and foil-wrapped sandwiches. But what is it?
A: Saltwater taffy! Blended raw peanut créme (does that spelling make you squirm?) tastes exactly like the “peanut butter” flavor of saltwater taffy. Remember how the candy had a slight grainy texture and melted like butter in your mouth? Ditto this.
Things associated with Martha’s Vineyard
It’s not often that you experience an ephemeral taste whiff that can actually be sourced, but this resemblance is unmistakable. I would not recommend mixing up a batch of peanut créme unless you are itching for the whipping breezes of Martha’s Vineyard and the nauseated feeling of riding a ferry with too much glucose in your system.
As for now, I do not know what I will do with a whole tub of peanut créme. Maybe I can lure some docile pigeons onto the fire escape and befriend them.
—Molly
